Dating delimas for 58 yr old men
In her book, Why We Love, author Helen Fisher describes three types of love: Each of these types of love can have very different origins and be independently expressed for different people.For example, one woman might find that she lusts after her partner, is attracted to him, and securely attached (perhaps that is the ideal).Therefore, attachment decisions are often more greatly influenced by social norms and cultural practices.Think of the "wish list" some women have for the perfect partner.Generally speaking, men who have "leadership characteristics" may want to lead in many situations.With those two "feelings" juxtaposed, women often find themselves unfulfilled in love.Women then may gravitate towards a culturally prescribed "nice guy," only to find that they become bored, their libido wanes, and their eyes wander back to "jerks." Either way, they find the relationships largely frustrating and unsatisfying.Beyond highlighting this double-bind for all, I will save the "what men can do" for another time.
Usually, it is impossible to "choose" to be turned on or attracted to a partner.They complain about the men they call "nice guy, push-over" types, who don't stir passionate feelings. Personally, I would like to offer an alternative hypothesis—one where women have been put in a very unfulfilling double-bind.They also have difficulty with men they label attractive "jerks", who disrespect them, ignore their needs, and break hearts. I would like to posit that cultural and biological factors have been pitted at odds, leaving women in a "no win situation" most of the time in modern life.From a cultural standpoint, men who are categorized as "disagreeable," "opinionated," or expect women to "acquiesce" may be considered unappealing as "attachment" partners.Unfortunately, however, many of those "culturally undesirable" male traits are similar and overlapping with the traits that are biologically "attractive." Although not always true, often the man who is intelligent, high status, and ambitious will be unlikely to take a back seat, follow, and submit in a romantic relationship.